I opened the little gold box with some anticipation. It had been a gift from my niece, part of a gift basket, and I'd been saving it for some special happy occasion. Tonight, on the eve of my birthday, seemed like the right time.
The soap didn't look like anything special - in fact it looked exactly like the udder soap my school friend used to have on her dairy farm. That udder soap, though, I remembered, was great stuff. We used it to make our hair shiny.
I smelled it, wondering if it would go with either or both of my current perfumes. There's nothing worse than a nasty clash between your soap and your cologne. It didn't smell like anything particular either. That surprised me; with a pretentious name like Solid Gold, I expected it to be scented at least. I looked at the box. Solid Gold bath soap, weight when packed, 100g. OK. I turned the box over. It was a product of a company called Universal Brands Pty Ltd - an oxymoron if ever I'd heard one. I was looking to see what it was supposed to smell like, if anything. Then I read the following:
Directions: Work soap into a lather, smooth on body with moistened hands or wash cloth, then rinse.
Is this what we have come to? Where people need directions on how to use a bar of soap? This scares me worse than the terrifying list of chemical ingredients.