Epstein, Motherhood, Rape Culture and the shit we need to fix.

Paedophilia is the topic of the day in America, with every celebritty with even the remotest claim to respectability frantically virtue signalling about how shocked and disgusted they are. And that's all very natural, of course. Epstein and his pervert mystery island are disgusting, worse than disgusting, they were evil, and our sympathy goes out to the many victims of this horrible business.

But before you get too well away with the pearl-clutching, I'd like to ask you if you have ever done any of the following:

• Picked up a child without warning, because you were ready to leave
• Showered kisses on a child who was squirming to get away
• Patted a little girl on the bottom 
• blown raspberries on a child's skin while he begged you not to do it
• tickled a child while she begged you to stop
• Coerced a child to sit on someone's lap when she didn't want to
• Tricked out a little girl with makeup and tiny high heeled shoes

It starts in infancy, you see. The grooming. By the time we are three, we have learned that our bodies are not our own. That we aren't allowed to say no, or if we are, that it will be disregarded. Often, we also learn that we will be punished if we don't pretend to like it. And this is not what happens on some arch-pervert's island of horrors. No, it's what happens in nice, normal families.

Alongside this, girls also learn that it's not cool to make a fuss, that we should be 'nice' at all times, that we mustn't be rude no matter what. And of course, there's a lot in that. Children in the raw state are like wild beasts, and have to be taught civilised behaviour. But I think myself that there starts to be a problem when we differentiate what we are teaching them on gender lines. 

There's no logical reason that it has to be so. Little girls and little boys are virtually identical until they're taught to be different. And yet, by the time they start kindergarten, many of them have already been selected into gender-based cultural subsets. Yes, even today. There is of course the infamous 'pink aisle' in chain stores. But it's not just that. How many little girls under, say, 7, have you seen lately, out and about wearing big frilly tutu affairs over their clothes? Probably about half of them, right? Now, how many little boys have you seen wearing one of those things? 

Even if we don't treat tiny boys differently from tiny girls, though, there is still a massive indifference in our society to the notion of consent, as applied to children. And yet, it is here, in early childhood, that the personality is formed, and the basic understanding of 'how life works' first starts to be acquired. And we need to be facilitating the development of healthy boundaries, not crippling it.

So here's my challenge for today. Yes, there's a challenge. The next time you feel a great rush of affection for some small child, and feel prompted to snatch it up and shower it with kisses or whatever, give that child a gift instead. Teach him or her THIS SONG. It's short and simple enough for even a very young child to learn by heart, and little kids love to chant this sort of thing endlessly. This one time, let them be using that very annoying habit in the service of good.