Mood Management - The Toolkit

Remembering past happiness is a mood lifter, but it can be a two-edged sword.

Today, I want to talk about mood management. This is my term for what we do when we consciously try to alter our emotional state. Generally, nearly always, it involves lifting our mood when we are depressed - although it can also be about calming anxiety. There are other applications - coming down from berserker mode after a fight, for example. But I would guess that at least 90% of mood management that people attempt is to relieve depression.

Now, when I say 'depression', I am not talking about Clinical Depression, a psychological disorder that is serious and can even be life-threatening. I am not a medical person. If you have been diagnosed with Clinical Depression, if you even suspect you may have it, get to a doctor or psychotherapist. Don't mess with this. It can ruin lives. 

What I'm talking about here is 'small d depression'. It's what we are generally talking about when we say we are depressed. Really I think it's a shame the psych people couldn't have come up with a new word for the clinical disorder. It might have avoided a lot of confusion. Perhaps not, though. There are plenty of parallels for this. We all know someone who never gets a cold - it's always 'flu. They never get a headache - it's always a migraine.

That aside, small d depression strikes us all sooner or later, and, like the common cold, it can be a real bitch. And unless you're Aunty M (we've all got one in the family right? That person whose hobby is suffering, who appears to live to collect pity? M for Martyr) - then you will want to get rid of it as quickly as poss, because let's face it, there's no point in suffering if you don't have to.

This is where Mood Management comes in.

So, as with any endeavour, there are two components to Mood Management. There are the tools, and the skills. The skills aren't anything special - they are basically the self-knowledge that enables you to recognise that you feel bad, and the determination that lets you decide not to put up with it if you needn't.

The tools, now that brings me to what I want to say today. This is something that almost never fails to help me lift my mood. What you do is you make a list of things that lift you up, that inject sunshine into your day, that make you smile. You might sit down and write it from scratch, or add things ad hoc when you notice their effect. For me, it's a combination.

Some things on my list are easy. No scratch that, they're all easy, although they aren't always all available. For example, huffing a cat. Now my old cat Ferret died last year, and I haven't been able to get another because I am keeping that spot open for the feral cat I have been befriending. She is not yet at the stage where huffing can be a thing - she'd take my face off if I tried. She already sent me to the hospital once. The nerve damage will heal completely, I'm told. One day. So, no huffing for me just now. 

Getting outside is one of my main ones. Just outside, under the sky. It doesn't have to be sunny, or fine, or even daylight. It is the sky that does it for me. I feel instantly a little better. 

That may not work for everyone, I don't know, but exercise, I am very sure, will. A walk is always a good idea. You use your large muscles, driving oxygen to your brain, and if you take a dog with you, you are at the same time making someone happy, and that brings me to my next point.

Acts of service, however small, if they bring some joy or comfort to anyone, will generally do so to us as well. I'm not sure of the mechanism of it - perhaps it releases some chemical in the brain, perhaps it's God's reward for kindness, who knows? I'm neither a doctor nor a priest. I just know it works. 

Then there can be technological tools as well. There's a Youtube video that a friend sent me one night when I was plumbing the darkest depths. It's a silly little cartoon, but for some reason it makes me feel happy. I watched it for hours that night, and it has never lost its effect. You can watch it HERE. Thank you, Neil. You were a good man and I'll never forget you. More recently, I've discovered a mob that makes AI cat videos that also have this effect for me. Check out Purrallel Universe. 

There are certain pieces of music that do it for me too, and I have a playlist of those. Anyway, I'm sure you get the idea. The list is going to be different for everyone, of course. The adventure is to create your own.