TOP CAT'S ALLEY WRITERS' AWARDS 2020

The moment a very, very few people may have been waiting for - my 2020 awards presentation.

I wish, how I wish, that I were as rich as Stephen King. Then there would be massive cash prizes to go with these awards. As it is, there is only the glory.

Note that not all of the winning books were first published this year. That's because these are MY awards, and therefore it is about when I read the book, not when it was first published. So without further ado, these are the works I feel deserve special mention, from what I've read and seen in 2020.

BEST NOVEL PUBLISHED IN 2020

Charlotte Wood, for The Weekend

Get it at Amazon

BEST ACTION NOVEL

Andy Peloquin, for Lethal Extraction

Preorder at Amazon

BEST ANTHOLOGY
BEST POLITICAL FICTION

Benjamin Gorman and Jack Dye, for Shout!

Get it at Amazon:

BEST CHRISTIAN FICTION

Ray Anselmo, for Flight to Freedom

Get it at Amazon

BEST SERIOUS NON-FICTION

Vladislav Matrenitsky, for Carcinogenic Mind

Get it at Amazon

BEST HUMOROUS NON-FICTION

Biju Vasudevan, for The Ultimate, Complete and Comprehensive Self-Help Book on How to Avoid Being Conned by Self-Help Books, and Also Why To Avoid Them

Get it at Amazon

BEST SHORT STORY

Michael J Sullivan, for The Ashmoore Affair

Jennifer Lee Rossman, for No Collision

BEST MAGAZINE

Marcia Pinskier, for Gesher

BEST FANTASY SERIES

John Kang, for Scions of the Black Lotus

Get the complete series at Amazon

BEST ACTION SERIES

Andy Peloquin, for Cerberus

Get book 1 at Amazon

BEST CHILDREN'S SERIES

Carrie Cross, for Skylar Robbins

Get them at Amazon

BEST DETECTIVE SERIES

Simon Brett, for Mrs Pargeter

Get book 1 at Amazon

MOST LIKABLE CHARACTER

Charlaine Harris, for Sookie Stackhouse

MOST HORRIBLE VILLAIN

James Patterson, for The Mastermind

BEST INSULT

Andy Peloquin, for "pencil-dicked asshole" in Paragon Slayer

FUNNIEST MISUNDERSTANDING OF A GRAMMATICAL RULE

Christina Kaye, for the following:

"Lay (people do this) and lie (objects do this)... people lay in the bed, objects lie on the counter."

CONGRATULATIONS TO ALL WINNERS! 

K is for King's Ransom - The Saga

I note that this blog has languished since January. Well, a lot of things went by the wayside what with practically the whole world going into quarantine. One of the things I've been nibbling away at in background has been the hardcover edition of King's Ransom. 

This book seems to have been with me forever. I started writing it more years ago than I care to think about; I'm not sure now exactly what year it was, but it may have been 1994 or 1995. Certainly it was before 1998. I started the research for it a full year before that. It was a kind of hobby. Besides reading everything I could get my hands on, I tried to be as immersive as possible. At that time I had an hour's drive to and from work, and I spent it listening to reproduction music from the period. When Lent started, I tried to keep the rules of the Lenten fast as they were kept in those days. That was a horrible time. I don't think of myself as much of a foodie, but trust me, I never want to go there again.

Anyway, I started writing and it went quite quickly and smoothly at first. It was all good until I wrote myself into a corner about half way through the book. Back in those days I was an unmitigated pantser, and had almost no skills apart from the actual writing of the words. So when I found my story was stuck and I had no idea how to go on, the book went in the Too Hard Basket. For something like eight years. I only used to work on one book at a time back then; my day job was important to me and it was more in the nature of a hobby. So everything ground to a halt.

In 2014 I got more serious about things. I'd more or less given up the day job, and I started to take the work seriously. I've written and published a lot since then, but this one thing remains unfinished, the book available in paperback and all formats of e-book, but not in hardcover.

A lot of independent authors don't bother with hardcover. They say it doesn't pay for the effort involved, they get no sales and it isn't worth it. I think they're probably right too, in commercial terms. And yet, I'm old-fashioned enough that it has enormous value for me. Hardover to me says credibility, and a book that's only available in paperback feels to me like a film that goes straight to DVD.

Anyway, because the whole saga has gone on and on, I thought it might be amusing to, as it were, tell its story. Here goes:

JANUARY 2014

I discovered the files on my computer had become corrupted, and I had no manuscript except for the hardcopy printout. Fortunately for me, back when I was first writing this book Word, or my machine with its small amount of RAM, I'm not sure which, didn't handle large files well, so each chapter was in a separate file, and I used to print off each chapter as soon as I finished it. I had it all in a loose-leaf binder. 

FEBRUARY 2014

So the first task was to type it all in. This took me some time.

MARCH 2014 

I finished typing in everything I had and constructed an outline for finishing it. I made a very loose outline for the rest of the book and a detailed one for the rest of the chapter I was in.

APRIL 2014

I signed up for Camp NaNo. I really credit this with saving the whole book. If I'd stuck to my goal I could have finished the first draft that month, but of course I didn't, because Easter, when I used to have to host a huge family gathering for the entire four days at my husband's country block. That got me derailed enough that I didn't come anywhere near achieving the goal I'd set. And yet. The thing about it was that forcing myself to produce a daily word count, even though I didn't do it for long, got me unstuck. I wrote past the problem spot, and it unstuck my confidence, too.Writing before had always been more of a hobby than a job, so I had had the typical limp-wristed hobbyist's attitude to it. Now, I realised one could force oneself to write, just the way one forces oneself to do any work activity. This was probably the most important thing I ever learned about writing.

JULY 2014

I signed up for the second Camp Nano feeling much more confident. No Easter to throw me off course. And I finished the book! Just like that, bang, in a month. Really, the Nano concept is an utterly brilliant one.

OCTOBER 2014

After a decent rotdown period, I started in on editing and revisions. The revisions had to be extensive, moving chunks of story back and forward in time and all sorts. I had a great big timeline up on my whiteboard, with about a thousand sticky notes. I had spreadsheets galore. 

SEPTEMBER 2015

The editing and revisions took a long, long time. For one thing, in November 2014 I started writing a new book and that became my focus, so this one went on the back burner again. I did get it done, and in September of the following year I got it off to beta readers - one for reader feedback and one experienced writer of historical fiction. The historical writer got back to me after four months, but it took a long time for the other chap.

JULY 2016 

Finally with feedback from both beta readers, I was able to undertake second revisions. I got those done, formatted an e-book and sent advance copies to a whole lot of people for advance review. I set up the book in preorder at both Amazon and Smashwords, and started on the formats of the paperback and hardcover.

AUGUST 2016

Published the paperback.

SEPTEMBER 2016

Published in e-book, all formats. Attempted to produce a dustjacket myself. That did not work out. I was depressed about it and unsure how to proceed, and let the project slide onto the back burner again.

JULY 2017

Got my act together and hired a cover person to do the dustjacket. Loaded it all up and ordered a proof copy, which took a long, long time to come - Lulu take months to send out a proof.

DECEMBER 2017

When I got the proof copy I discovered a lot of formatting errors in the interior. There were several iterations of this.

DECEMBER 2018

Let it slide again because I had two other books out with beta readers and was writing another one.

DECEMBER 2019

Revived my flagging enthusiasm and attacked it again. Fixed all the formatting errors and ordered a new proof copy.

JUNE 2020

Fixed it all up and uploaded files again. There was some kind of problem and it didn't advance to the point where I could order a proof copy. Had to thrash this out with Lulu technical support.

JULY 2020

Finally got to order another proof copy.

AUGUST 2020

Got that proof copy, discovered a few more formatting glitches and uploaded a revised version. Ordered yet another proof copy.

SEPTEMBER 2020

And that brings us to today, when I am still waiting for that proof copy, which I fervently hope will be the last, to arrive. I ordered it on 15 August and it is now 20 September.

WHAT I TAKE AWAY FROM THIS

If there's one thing that springs to my mind about this unedifying saga, it is that projects that are 'in background' don't get done. As with anything in life, if you seriously want to get something done, you give it a priority.

THINGS I ACTUALLY RELEASED THIS YEAR

Don't miss my new releases. Where The Heart Is, the book I started writing in November 2014, is now available in its final edition - hardcover.

New books out are With Coffee Spoons and Bloodsucking Bogans, both in paperback, and Reality Ever After, just released in hardcover.

Broke and unemployed, Fiona moves to the country. She imagines everything will be pretty much as normal, but with scenery. But what she finds there will change her life. 

Get it here

This one only just released, in hardcover only. It hasn't come up on Amazon yet, but should be available shortly.

Dingo Flats hasn't been the same since the Murphy family moved back to town. The boys are delinquents, the daughter's a disgrace, and old Granny Murphy is constantly causing trouble. Even the dogs are delinquents. The crime rate's doubled since they arrived.

And what's with all the dead rats that have started appearing on the doorsteps of local businesses? The tabloid thinks it's a plague, but Sam's dad is convinced it's warnings from the Mafia.

Meanwhile, Sam's friends are determined to make her over and marry her off, and she's staring down the barrel of having to give up her police dog pup. What's a cop to do? Get it here.

A woman with a toxic mother-in-law, a man who crosses a social barrier and finds there is no way back, a man who loves his wife and reaps terrible trouble because of it, a homeless man, a dance teacher who just wants a few more students for his introductory Salsa class, an old woman confined in a nursing home, a big blue parrot, a young married couple, a dog who loves his man beyond the boundaries of death, a Christmas kitten, a scientist with a device of unimaginable power, a young graduate who goes looking for a thrill and finds more than he bargained for.

You'll laugh, you'll cry, and perhaps you'll even think about your life.

Get it here.

Book Review - Shout: An Anthology of Resistance Poetry and Short Fictiom

I seldom post book reviews on this blog any more; it became tedious, and there are plenty of review sites around. But this anthology, soon to be released, is one I'd like to talk about.

I received an advance copy from the publisher of this anthology for the purpose of review, and I feel privileged to have done so. Over recent years I've become accustomed to a slight cringe when opening the work of lesser-known writers, and so the sheer professionalism of this book was the first thing to appeal. Ah, but the content!

I'm not really qualified to review poetry, so all I can say about the poems is that I enjoyed them, they spoke to the heart. The stories, though! Despite the uniformly dystopian visions presented, every single one of these stories was an absolute pleasure to read. Personal favourites of mine were No Collision, by Jennifer Lee Rossman, and Emma's Knives by Karen Eisenbrey, the former for its sharp and humorous wit, which is served unerringly with a light and precise hand, and never overdone, a thing not easy, and the latter for its endearing portrayal of one person's lone fight, and for the charming contrast of the traditional recipes.

There is far less protest fiction being published in today's America than there ought to be; in recent years we have seen the world's view of this country degenerating from slightly patronising friendliness to appalled horror, loathing and terror. This fine piece of work will, I hope, form a spearhead to a new literary movement.

If you're American, read it because you need it. If you're not, read it because it's excellent short fiction.

Shout will be released on 2 February, and can be pre-ordered HERE.

The Dust of History

The dust of history

By John Passant

I have seen the future
Today, outside
As the bush burns
Destroys and kills

Homes and lives
Up in smoke
Climate change remains unspoken
By the broken government
And the almost quiet Opposition

Lying words and minor actions
Do not stop climate change
Or fix the current disasters
Across my country
Or what is left of it

Too late to see it
Before it goes to shit
It has gone already
Down that route
All gone, gone for years

I have only tears,
And fears we will repeat this shit
Now, tomorrow
And next year
If we let them

Revolution must be our solution
Our class united can rid us of the deniers
And those who equivocate
Today is not too late
Tomorrow is

Will we come together
To defeat them and their weather?
Or breath their smoke for what seems forever?

We can, we must
Send their profit system and climate change
To the dust of history
And end this misery

John Passant, 7 January 2020

John reading one of his poems on the CD, accompanied by Mileyna Cifali of The Awesome

John Passant is a lawyer, activist and poet. He has published two books of his poetry, which you can find HERE.
A CD of his poetry set to music is HERE. You can buy the music, or listen free online.

Why I Am Racist - the taint we can't scrub out.

If you have even read past the title, you're probably shocked AF. And that's okay. Shock is an appropriate response.

What I want to talk about today is the invisible, unconscious racism we all - well most of us, there may be some perfect individuals - are still tainted with, despite our best efforts. It's an uncomfortable subject, for sure. 

It's a kind of contra bias, a sort of balance to the oversensitivity some people of colour have, where any conflict is deemed to be for racist reasons. I still remember a huge quarrel I had with another student at college, back when I was only seventeen. That's a LONG time ago. You hate me because I'm black, he said. No I don't, I told him. I hate you because you're a prick.

Of course it's better not to quarrel with our fellow students, especially when we're both living on campus and have to share the laundry facilities. But quarrels happen and this kind of thing still happens too. People who are attached to their bigotry and want to preserve it often sneeringly call my fellow student's accusation (his name was Onga, I still remember him because I just disliked him so much) 'playing the race card', a dismissive, patronising phrase which makes my fur stand up whenever I hear it. But this kind of response, combined with an honest person's natural desire to weed out all racism from himself, has given rise to a kind of contra bias, where there's a presumption that we have to like a person just because he is dark skinned. What crap this is! An arsehole is an arsehole in any colour. Nevertheless, our responses tend to be modified even when we don't give way to this.

Let me give you an example. A kind of thought experiment. Suppose I am working in an office, working for a firm (thankfully those days are behind me, but I spent most of my adult life this way so I know all about it.) In my department is a man who is much younger than I am. He is not my boss. He presumptuously gives me some instructions, which he has no right to do, and he does so in a patronising way that really gets my back up. With me so far? I'm sure any female has had this kind of experience.

Now suppose that man is a European, like me. I might well say to him, 'Don't teach your grandmother to suck eggs, boy.' I say 'boy' to denigrate him and put him in his place. Of course it's rude. It's meant to be. It also reminds him of the fact I'm older and more experienced than he is.

Suppose, on the other hand, that this young man is a brown-skinned man. Now there is no way, no way in the world, I'm going to use the term 'boy' when I speak to him. No matter how offensive he's been. Because for him, the connotations are quite different. There's too much history of brown men being called 'boy', you can't avoid the association. So whatever I say to him, and I might still be very rude, it is never going to contain that word.

Do you see the inherent racism in this? I've modified my response as a direct result of my perception of the person's skin colour. I say perception, because I'm not American, and I can never really get my head around which nationalities count as 'black'. There are so many. What about Maltese people, for example? Are they black or white? Who knows. Only the Americans with their mental colour charts. 

Things like this are impossible to get rid of, I think, at least in our current society where racism is still a thing, and I suspect that one day when it isn't, these things will just not be a thing either. But it makes a complete nonsense out of anyone's claim not to be racist, just supposing anyone other than out-and-out deliberate racists ever made this claim.

Food for thought. We all have this kind of thing, but I think it's important still to be aware of it, lest it expand into areas where it isn't justifiable and righteous. 

The TCA Writers' Awards, 2019

TOP CAT'S ALLEY WRITERS' AWARDS 2019

I should probably point out that not all of the winning books were first published this year. That's because, in true egocentric style, I'm working off when I read the book, not when it was first published. So without further ado, these are the works I feel deserve special mention, from what I've read and seen in 2019.

BEST LITERARY FICTION

Jeremy Wright, for Kaleidoscope

https://www.amazon.com/Kaleidoscope-JP-Wright-ebook/dp/B019BK3M1I

BEST NON-FICTION

Fr Rod Bower, for Outspoken

https://www.amazon.com/Outspoken-Because-Justice-Always-Social-ebook/dp/B07FMGJVJJ

BEST DYSTOPIAN NOVEL

Bradley Wind, for Bulb

https://www.amazon.com/BULB-Bradley-Taylor-Wind/dp/0997280573

BEST YA NOVEL

Michael Palmer-Cryle, for Hieronymus Jones and the Teacup Squid

https://www.amazon.com/Hieronymus-Jones-Teacup-Squid-tentacles/dp/0648422437

BEST FANTASY SERIES

Sarina Dorie, for Womby's School for Wayward Witches

https://www.goodreads.com/series/236063-womby-s-school-for-wayward-witches

BEST ACTION SERIES

Andy Peloquin, for The Silent Champions

https://www.goodreads.com/series/274938-the-silent-champions

BEST HUMOROUS SERIES

Ben Aaronovitch, for the Rivers of London series

https://www.goodreads.com/series/51937-rivers-of-london

BEST DETECTIVE SERIES

Denzil Meyrick, for D.C.I. Daley

https://www.goodreads.com/series/161572-dci-daley

MOST DIFFICULT RHYME ACHIEVED

Andrew Barber - for the breathtaking rhyme of 'coup, yeah' with 'halleluia':

Andrew has given me permission to reproduce the poem, so here it is:

Coup De Vil

Although we have a monarchy,

We still think it’s democracy.

At least we did before we had a coup, yeah.

But coups get stopped before they’re done,

(Guy Fawkes’ attempt was only one)

And every time they fail it’s hallelujah.

A hundred years from now we’ll find

That all those pennies for the Guy

Are pennies for the Boris that would screw ya. 

I’m not an optimist, it’s true,

But up to now, we’ve pulled on through,

And every time we do it’s hallelujah.

There is some scarlet in the blue,

Some signs of change long overdue.

The queen has lost her rep for being cool, yeah. 

She’s just another decadent

Supporter of establishment

And monarchy is spent, so hallelujah.

These interesting times we share

Have got me pulling out my hair,

We’re fighting opportunists who outdrew ya. 

But mostly we’ve been here before,

And if we have a civil war,

It won’t be won by laws, so hallelujah.

MOST ORIGINAL CHARACTER

K.M. Harrell - for the bitter castle Azwick, in Zadea (still unpublished, but hopefully coming soon).

BEST SUPPORTING CHARACTER

Sarina Dorie, for the unicorns in Witches Gone Wicked

https://www.amazon.com/Witches-Gone-Wicked-Not-So-Cozy-Mystery-ebook/dp/B07D5LMMZ7

BEST NEW WORD COINED

Rozita Berry - for 'Zeitritter' (time traveller).

CONGRATULATIONS TO ALL WINNERS! 

J is for Just Do It

My friend Fiona is decluttering her crowded house. She's really going at it, too. The other day she spent five hours working through paper clutter. She doesn't do this every day; after all, she has a full life. But she told me she is making it a point to get rid of something every day, so that even if she can only find a few minutes, the total of clutter in the house is reduced.

So, Fiona's decluttering, and I'm writing this book. It's uphill work this time. With some books, I can pound away and easily get a few thousand words a day. The Operation Tomcat books were each written in less than a month. Okay, they are novellas, not full-length novels, but still. They are easy and fun to write. I wish I'd chosen another of them for this project!

Be that as it may, I selected for my background project a book about people in a psychiatric hospital.  Not including the huge amounts of time I have had to spend on research, it's just a more difficult book to write than, well pretty well anything I've done before. There's a lot of grief, a lot of sorrow, a lot of character growth, and it's not as funny as most of my work, either. I've noticed in recent years that a lot of what I've been producing is not quite as frivolous as my early books.

Fiona's approach of doing something every day is a good one, and one I've been trying to apply with this book. In fact, I have it externally imposed, since I've been doing a friend's writing course and this book was my practical work for the course. We were to write a minimum of 750 words every weekday, and report our week's progress in our group every Friday.

On its face, this seemed like quite an easy thing to do. 750 words is not much; it is far less than my usual daily wordcount when I'm working on a book. And yet, somehow, with this one I found myself really struggling. So for today's article I thought I'd examine some of the reasons for that, and perhaps explore how they can be countered.

1. Emotional distress. 

This looms large at the moment. A little while ago, I was accosted in the street by a maniac, as I walked home from church. You would think that in a nice, middle-class suburb, an elderly woman could walk home from church without trouble, wouldn't you? Well, evidently you'd be wrong. The maniac said he was going to come to my house, hurt my animals or perhaps kill them (the actual term used was 'fuck up'), and pour a bucket of urine over my front door. Charming! And just so I'd take him seriously, he informed me of my address, which he's found out by stalking me. Now normally I'd ignore threats, but in this case Emily and my other kids are threatened. That's a whole different ballgame. I spent the first three days almost completely incapacitated with panic attacks, unable to leave the house. I'm still afraid, and more, I'm grieving the loss of the church where I've been so happy for the last eight years.

But wait! I'm supposed to be a professional! I've been writing for years, and I am neither a novice nor an amateur. We don't just not write because we 'don't feel like it', and nor do we imagine the existence of 'writer's block', muses, inspiration or any of that claptrap. It's a job. It's a job I know how to do.  I have set working hours. There is no reason in the world why any unhappiness ought to prevent me from being productive. So strike that one. It's an excuse. Perhaps those first few days were permissible; if I'd still been working in the city I might well have taken a couple of days leave. But no more. I've dealt with the situation as best I could; certain security measures have been implemented, and I'm not going to say any more about that as this is a public blog. Also, I saw a doctor, and got some really good techniques for dealing with panic attacks. This is the way. If something is hurting your ability to work, deal with it.

2. Interruptions. 

When you're working, you need to let everything - and everyone - else wait.

This one's a biggie, and a constant problem for many writers. You do not punch a time clock, you do not get a regular salary cheque, and because of this people tend not to see your job as 'a real job'.

The solution to interruptions is simple, although often not easy. You have to use the magic word. The magic word is 'no'. No, I can't come out shopping for the day. No, I can't pick up your kids from school/be on your committee/make a cake for your event/gossip on the telephone for two hours, whatever. No. And not just to other people, either. You have to say it to yourself as well. No, I'm not going to answer the phone. The doorbell, well I do tend to answer that, but unless it's the police or a delivery, people get pretty short shrift. No salesperson ever cold calls me twice! No, I shan't just go and hang out the washing/shop for dinner/take the dog for a walk. Just as with salaried employment, these things have to be done outside working hours. I have a twenty minute break in the morning, an hour for lunch, and I knock off at three. That is plenty of time to do personal stuff.

3. Internet. 

Of course it's wonderful, and there are genuine uses for it. Research, networking with other writers, and so on. But you do not need to have it up when you are actually writing. Especially Facebook, which will give you a notification every time someone tags you, or replies to something you said, or posts in a group you belong to. This comes under the heading of that three hour gossip-fest on the phone. Close Facebook, and close your email accounts, and close twitter, instagram, and any other social media sites. And especially if you participate in any online gaming. Close that. If you're playing something like Forge of Empires, as I do, time your productions to finish on your break, or just accept the fact you won't be there to collect them. It's only a game. Don't let it destroy your work. If you have an ongoing problem with this, consider giving up the game. It's not worth looking back one day and saying, if only I hadn't played so many games I might have finished my novel.

4. Too many tasks running concurrently. Just as this can spoil your computer's performance, so it can inhibit your own. Page thrashing isn't just a feature of technology. If you're constantly switching from one thing to another, choose one and stick with it. Of course it's valid enough to have several things on the go - things are at different stages. I have at present one finished book in revisions, and a long story in rotdown. But if you're drafting multiple things at the same time, this is bad. If they are similar things, you can get tangled between two books and make errors, like mentioning a character from one book in the other. If they aren't similar, it's even worse. Part of why I found it hard to get going with this current book is that for the early part of the year I was still writing the other one, the one that is now in revisions. That's a children's fantasy novel, a very different animal from the current work. It was hard, very hard, to get my mind out of one mode and into the other. In the end I acknowledged this and took a break from the current book to finish the children's one, which is my major project for this year, and was also close to completion. After I finished the draft, I went on with this book, and then I found it went much better. This is why in general I do not ever work on drafting more than one thing at a time.

Even with two unrelated tasks like drafting and revisions, you don't want to be havering back and forth. Different kinds of work require different mindsets. Segregate them. Perhaps you'll write in the morning and do revisions in the afternoon, as Stephen King does. Perhaps you'll write until you reach your daily target (time or wordcount, or a chapter, or whatever) and then work on your revisions. Ideally, the way you structure your day will take advantage of your knowledge of your own body's energy peaks and troughs. Also, having a set plan or method for dividing your time helps you to avoid spinning your wheels. You don't want to be in the position of sitting there scratching your head trying to decide what to work on. While you were doing that you could have written something.

So those are the Big Three, the unholy trinity of the enemies of productivity. And there is one more thing I need to say. Once you've said no to all the crap, dealt as well as you can with any issues like illness or maniacs threatening your family, and examined your workload for sensible composition, one thing remains. JUST DO IT.